Unsanitary
by Tyrotoxis
Summary: Stan wants to experiment with something neither of them have done before, but Kyle has issues with it. Rated M for graphic smut!


**South Park (c) Matt Stone & Trey Parker**

* * *

"No, Stan."

"Why not?" The raven haired boy demanded.

"Because it's _gross_."

"Oh, come on, Kyle. There isn't any on it now, Jesus."

"_Dude!_ Pee comes _out_ of it!"

"Well, it's not like I'm gonna pee in your mouth."

"I don't fucking care! It's gross!"

"Kye…"

"NO!"

Stan huffed indignantly, folding his arms over his chest as he stared down at his redheaded best friend. At least they were _supposed_ to be best friends. Kyle sat on Stan's unmade bed, glaring straight back at him with an almost cute pout on his face, his cheeks pinked lightly from sheer frustration. It was something so simple; Stan wanted to experiment with Kyle as per usual. Normally they would suggest innocent things just to see what it was like, and to Stan, a blowjob seemed within reason. Neither of them had gotten one before, and since they had already gotten past experiments with kissing and handjobs, it was about time they took the next step. Or at least Stan thought so. Unfortunately, Kyle was being a pussy about a little pee_ again_.

It was a constant frustration for the charcoal haired teen already since it was almost always on Kyle's mind, or at least that's what it seemed like. Kyle had started to refuse to touch him if he went to the bathroom and came back out with his hands not smelling like soap. Kyle even ranted for a little over an hour one day about how disgusting and grotesque peeing in the pool or the shower or anywhere else except the toilet was. What other choice did Stan have but to just wash his hands and shit? The redheaded boy's temper would flare and they would probably end up not talking for days, even weeks if Stan even tried to argue with "everyone does it" or "it's just a little pee". The latter phrase pissed him off the most, and he wouldn't hesitate to throw a punch if it was uttered in his direction.

Stan wavered for a moment, dropping his arms to his sides. He didn't want to seem extremely desperate, but this was definitely something he wanted. No, he _needed_ this. It seemed like there was no convincing Kyle, but he was going to get those soft, pink lips around his cock by the end of the day even if it was the last thing he did. With a new determination fueling his desperation, he leaned down to Kyle's eye level and moved closer. As he leaned in, the Jew tilted back to avoid face collision and ended up on his back with Stan hovering over him, hands on both of his sides, keeping only a small distance between them and trapping the teen underneath.

"I'll scrub my goddamn dick with soap until it's so clean you could eat off of it if you just try this with me." A look of confusion contorted into one of suspicion and slight annoyance at the statement. Before Kyle could say no again, Stan quickly added in, "you can even _watch_." He paused for a moment, a smirk forming on his lips as he attempted a seductive tone, "actually, if you want, you can just do it."

From the look on the other teen's face, Stan could tell he had gotten past the 'no' phase, and now all he had to do was work on the conditions. Kyle bit at his lip, running his tongue over it thoughtfully, green eyes staring off to the side. Stan's penis _would_ be clean if he did that, but wasn't this all a bit much for just a blowjob? It couldn't be that good to go through such lengths just to get one. Sure, it was for experiment's sake, but he really didn't see all the fucking fuss. Handjobs were just as good, or better. Why couldn't they just stick with that? God, he hated pee. So fucking much.

"I'll just watch," the redhead stated, glancing over to meet the blue eyes staring back down at him. Stan's face lit up, and he smiled wide like he had just won a jackpot or something equally as awesome. Not more than seconds after he'd said that, he was being dragged out of Stan's room, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Kyle had never seen anyone strip so fast in his life. He didn't even think that speed was possible, ever. He was pretty sure that Stan would have ripped his clothes right off like the goddamn hulk if he could.

So, Stan was now naked, the bathroom door was closed and locked, and Kyle was sitting on the lidded toilet seat, trying to keep his eyes above Stan's waist. His gaze was expectant, and Stan didn't miss a beat. For a moment the blue eyed teen wasn't sure if he should use the sink or the tub, but finally opted for the tub so that he could sit.

Kyle was so fucking picky, it was ridiculous, but he wasn't going to complain and lose this one chance for something _awesome_. He had watched porn on several occasions, seeing blowjobs, and the way it looked so goddamn good. He even went so far as to read about it online. He could recite half of the fucking article describing the raw pleasure of having someone suck your dick if he tried, but he wouldn't. Not yet, at least. The articles and the videos he'd watched triggered a chain reaction, and that's what led him here, sitting on the edge of his tub with a soapy, wet washcloth in his hand, rubbing his prick expertly to get any germs off that might cause Kyle to refuse him this simple pleasure. So intent on getting clean quickly, he had hardly noticed Kyle staring intently down at his crotch, ensuring every part of that dick was clean before he even touched it.

He knew there was something wrong with him. There was no denying it now. Who agreed to suck their best friend's dick? Who agreed to suck anyone's dick willingly anyway? It was like he was the only sanitary person in South Park. For some reason, being a guy at seventeen meant you were expected to be especially used to unsanitary places and mannerisms just like the way he was supposed to be when he was nine. Kyle's eyes trailed up to Stan's face when his hand had stopped stroking and rubbing his penis with the washcloth. There was a short silence after their eyes locked, and Stan moved his hand with the washcloth to the side, opening his legs a bit wider for Kyle.

"That good enough?"

The Jew flushed lightly at the shamelessness of his friend and slipped off of the toilet seat, moving closer to inspect. It seemed that Stan had gotten just about every place the redhead could even begin to complain about. Hell, he even had some soap rubbed on his inner thighs and his pubes all the way to his happy trail. There was one part Stan didn't get as well as Kyle would have liked, and Kyle took it onto himself to get it. When Kyle chanced a look at the other, Stan looked so fucking excited; eyes wide, and his mouth hanging open slightly with a pleased smile, and the moment Kyle got on his knees in front of the other, he had stopped breathing altogether.

Kyle, trying to pay the reaction no mind, grabbed the washcloth from Stan's side and folded it over neatly before grabbing the slightly limp penis in his hand, pulling back the foreskin and rubbing the slit thoroughly with the cloth. Stan had started breathing again and seemed to cringe slightly at the roughness of the cloth from the peripheral of green eyes. Once he was done, he leaned up and kissed the edge of the taller boy's lips apologetically, mouthing the single syllable word against the other's bottom lip.

"Done."

Stan didn't complain like the redhead thought he would. He just moved quickly and carefully to the sink to rinse off the cloth and himself. Kyle had gotten off the floor and looked at his best friend nervously. He didn't know how to do this. Stan had just brought it up out of nowhere. If Stan had just waited a few days like he usually did after proposing something ridiculous, Kyle would have enough knowledge on how to do it that he'd be an expert. He'd Google the shit out of blowjobs. Unfortunately, there was no time to be able to do so now, so he just looked about the bathroom timidly, his face flushed lightly.

"In here or my bedroom?" Stan had finished rinsing off and looked to Kyle expectantly, a smug smile on his face. God, he couldn't hide back his excitement. He was moments away from a _blowjob_ from his _best friend._

"H-huh?"

"Where do you wanna do it, dude?"

"Oh. Uh, your bedroom, I guess."

Kyle shrugged nonchalantly at his own comment, but inwardly he wanted to stall the whole ordeal as long as he could. Stan was sure as hell in a hurry to get started, though, and didn't bother putting his clothes back on before he poked his head out of the bathroom door, peering both ways. As soon as the coast was clear, he grabbed the redhead's hand, quickly darting into his room down the hall. His parents were home, but he wasn't sure what part of the house they were in. Shelly, however, was gone, and he felt ten thousand times better about the entire situation with just that fact.

He locked his bedroom door and walked over to the bed, dragging Kyle along. The fact that he was walking around bare fucking naked with his best friend in tow didn't seem all too weird to him, so he confused as to why Kyle was looking so apprehensive. Soon they were in the same position they started in; Kyle sitting on the bed staring up at him, and Stan standing in front of him, waiting impatiently for the Jew to start.

"What's wrong now?" Stan tried not to sound irritated, but it wasn't hard for his best friend to notice the undertone in his voice. "Well..I, uh… I don't know how?" He looked down at his lap in embarrassment and shifted back a little, away from the raven haired teen's exceptionally clean prick.

Stan brushed his hand over Kyle's head, knocking off his green ushanka to reveal fiery red curls which he gently tangled his fingers in, tenderly moving his head back. "Kye," he whispered softly, soothingly, "just do what you know already, okay?"

A slight nod came from the redheaded Jew before he leaned forward, timidly holding up Stan's hardening penis with both hands as he tilted his head to the side to lick up and down the side of the sensitive organ. Continuing, Kyle did the same to the other side and the bottom of Stan's cock, starting at the raphe as he dragged his tongue all the way to the tip. To make up for earlier, he wiggled his tongue in the slit teasingly, closing his eyes as he concentrated on what he was doing. Kyle could tell how pleased Stan was because he was massaging his scalp lovingly as low, pleased hums made their way from his throat. Finally, Kyle opened his mouth just wide enough to take the boner into his mouth, and Stan started to move Kyle's hair out of his face instinctively. God, he wanted to watch it for so many reasons he couldn't explain.

"Kye…Kye, no teeth." Stan's voice was still soft as if he were coaxing a scared animal into his capable, loving arms, and the Jew had to admit, at least to himself, he liked it _a lot_. Kyle had gently ghosted his teeth over the sensitive organ, thinking it might feel good, but with Stan's disapproval, he simply obeyed and continued to put his mouth around as much of the prick as he could. Slowly, he started sucking clumsily, drool coming out of the side of his mouth as he tried to adjust his jaw to keep his teeth from touching. _Damn it, why does this have to be so hard?_ Kyle opened his eyes and glanced up at Stan, who was obviously not enjoying it as much as when he was just licking it. He had no idea what he was doing wrong or how to do it right. In shame, he pulled away, letting Stan fall from his mouth.

"Lay down," coaxed that soothing voice, and Kyle did as he was told, moving further on to the bed to pull up his legs and lay on his back. Sitting up on his elbows, he began forming an apology in his mind, but Stan's actions instantly left him without much of anything to say. The confused Jew's pants were now unbuttoned and unzipped, Stan hooking his fingers in the hem of Kyle's boxers. In one fluid movement, he pulled them down along with his pants down just above the knee. Stan started to move over him, but Kyle shifted, pulling his pants off all the way before the other could do anything more. Stan was giving him an incredulous look and the redhead merely shrugged as his pants fell to the floor beside the bed, a smile forming on his lips as he let Stan continue whatever it was he was doing.

"_OhmyGod,_" Kyle breathed, a soft moan passing through his lips afterwards. Stan had gotten in between Kyle's legs, leaned down, grabbed his limp member, and licked it to life. This actually didn't take long at all. Stan expertly took the Jew's ever-hardening boner into his mouth after one last lick and affectionate kiss to the tip and hollowed out his cheeks, sucking all that he could fit in his mouth.

_Now_ Kyle knew, and oh, God, was he enjoying every fucking millisecond of it. He sat up further and moved his legs over Stan's shoulders before caressing his head lovingly whilst gently pushing down and brushing the ebony bangs from his forehead with his idle hand. "Jesus Christ, Stan…"

In reply, the teen underneath wrapped his arms under the redhead's thighs, pulling them apart slightly as he deep throated his best friend, forcing himself to relax his throat. Unfortunately, he started to gag after a moment and tried to back out of it a little, but the hands caressing his scalp weren't exactly allowing him to do so. He was choking, but Kyle was moaning like a bitch in heat. That made up for it a little bit, at least, but after a moment of obvious choking noises, Kyle let the ebony haired boy pull away. An embarrassed flush crept up on Kyle's face, knowing very well he got carried away. "S-sorry…" He mumbled, fiddling with his fingers, unsure of what else to do.

Stan continued to cough for air, ignoring the apology all the while. Once he caught his breath, he didn't bother with assuring the redhead. Instead, he went straight back to what he was doing like this was what he was fucking sent from heaven to do. In fact, Stan had never looked more perfect than he did now, and although Kyle was pretty sure it was just the euphoria of the blowjob that was fucking with his mind, he just let his brain go on and ramble about how goddamn perfect Stan was in every single way. _Especially_ right now.

He was so shamelessly bobbing his head up and down on Kyle's dick, pausing to try to deep throat again every once in a while, eliciting a low, involuntary moan from the redhead every time. At one point Kyle had moaned a bit too loudly, and Stan paused, nipping at the tip of the saliva-slick organ in warning. Kyle shifted a bit closer and nodded, giving an apologetic look as he ran his fingers through the dark hair, wanting him to go back to what he was doing because Jesus-fucking-Christ, there was no way in hell this was Stan's first time. Instead of immediately continuing where he left off, the blue eyed teen wiggled his tongue in Kyle's slit in a mockingly teasing way. A bit of pre-cum had gotten on his bottom lip, Kyle noticed, but before he could mention it—since his mind was slow as fucking molasses or some shit—Stan had already trailed his tongue over his lip while staring up at Kyle in the most seductive way he could even imagine, and bit his lip lightly, letting it slip back into place from in between his teeth slowly. If he wasn't already about to jizz, he was definitely going to soon. God damn, Stan.

_God damn._

"..St-Stan," Kyle murmured in between breaths, a little hesitant to do anything with his hands other than clutch that beautiful, silky black hair and force his perfect mouth to swallow even more of his member. A sense of urgency came, and the tone showed in the Jew's voice, "Stan... Stan!"

Said teen raised his head slightly to look at Kyle, who was giving him an anxious and embarrassed look. _Oh. Of course._

To Kyle, even his own semen was on the unsanitary side, and as much as he liked handjobs or even _this_ blowjob, he'd always insist on finishing himself. The flustered redhead removed his hands from Stan's head and tried to move his legs from his shoulders as well, but the latter refused to let go of his thighs.

"Stan..?" Kyle's voice was unsure, and he grabbed his penis, reluctantly keeping Stan from blowing him anymore if that was what he was planning. In response, Stan opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out while looking up at the other teen, waiting.

"I-I'm not…That's _gross_, Stan!"

"Fucking do it, Kye." The raven haired boy's tone was serious and imposing, making Kyle shrink a little. What choice did he have? Stan obviously wasn't letting go. The Jew shifted, trying to get out of the firm grip on his thighs but failed. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to ignore how disgusting this really was and hesitantly stroked his dick over his best friend's face. Getting impatient, Stan lapped at the boner, subsequently getting Kyle's hand as well. Although he didn't dislike the attention he was getting, he refused to make it obvious how much he enjoyed it. Stan didn't care either way, he merely continued trying to get the other to orgasm.

It was two minutes, maybe three of Kyle stroking his cock over Stan before he started to arch his back, his head rolling back, then to the side as the chemicals of complete euphoria began to release in his brain, flooding his entire body. He let out breathy moans as he continued stroking with his eyes shut tightly, and when he started to cum, Stan hardly lost a drop to the sheet without it coming into contact with his face or open mouth. Some dripped off his tongue, but there was more than enough already there to satisfy. Stan pulled open Kyle's legs just as before and quickly captured his dick in his mouth, slowly engulfing the entire length, deep throating it successfully without gagging. A deep, satisfied groan came from the Jew, who was ready to lay back and bask in the fucking ecstasy his best friend had brought about. Once Stan had seemed to be finished sucking anything that might be left over on his dick, he used Kyle's shirt to wipe off his face, which earned him a displeased grunt, but not much else.

"You got it in my hair, dude," the raven haired teen was chuckling at this, wiping some of it out of his hair on Kyle's t-shirt again as he crawled up to the free side of the bed.

"That's your fault," he whispered in reply and sighed contently, still basking in all the glory that is a job well-done. Green eyes wandered over to meet with those perfect blue ones, and he admitted quietly, "I love you so fucking much right now, dude, you don't even know."

"Yeah? Why don't you show me?" At this, Stan presented his still hard cock that was just dying for some attention, and he smirked as Kyle started to sit up, licking his lips.

This time would definitely be fucking orgasmic.


End file.
